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Melissa Francis Is Looking For A 'Pool Boy' Type

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Melissa Francis has put the call out (13:30) that she wants a young, hot, not so smart co-host. A "pool boy," basically. Sort of unclear to us is why current gal-pal Larry Kudlow doesn't fit this description, or why Mel couldn't dip into the veritable treasure trove of pool boys at CNBC, such as Mark Haines, but no matter. If you've got a headshot and an interest in getting paid to be a piece of meat alongside MF, let us know and we'll put you in touch. Whether you're an out of work CEO, down on his luck fund manager, or gainfully employed financial services hack, this is a dream gig not to be passed up. For those not willing to don a thong on camera, Charlie Gasparino is also said to be looking for a PB to fill a vacancy left by his last assistant. Pretty solid gig, though you'll have to be comfortable getting your man parts near a meat slicer. Not to worry, there will be an intensive two-week training period that will get your skills up to snuff and probably haunt you for all eternity (think having flaming hot sticks of sopressat' thrown at you by a chain smoking Maude Gasparino, seated in a dark corner, shouting "dodge it! dodge that shit!").