No One Wants Anything To Do With Ruth Madoff

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Not even a colorist wielding toxic chemicals. Not even the former wife of an ex-con. Not even Vikram Pandit. We're making an assumption with the last one but, I mean, it's probably true. The Timesreports that the many of the people who once made Lady MacMadoff's world go 'round (including those expelled from her uterus), and also perfect strangers, united only by the fact that their husbands broke the law, are maintaining at least a 200 foot distance between themselves and the Ponzi Zone.


Such as: the Pierre Michel salon, which previously did her her highlights every six weeks (Soft Baby Blonde, for those of interested in the Ponzi Chic look). They won't allow her in the building and refuse to send a stylist over to East 64th Street (no word on how she's making do but clearly some hair place that doesn't mind the taint o' Bernie is taking her in, as evidenced by a lack of gray during her weekly visits to the big house). Then there's Beth Eckhardt, the Amagansett florist, who won't Ruth's calls, and pledged to never take Mrs. M back as a client. Bella Blu refuses to seat her for dinner (and, as previously mentioned, it's not as though she can just pick up some cheese like in the old days before people found out her husband was a criminal), and Sette Mezzo general manager Oriente Mania has said if she steps one foot in the door without paying the $160 bill Bernie owes from December (prosecutors wouldn't allow the check to be cashed), he'll break it off. Ivan Boesky's ex, who knows from banging white collar criminals, actually wanted to write Ruth a nice note and maybe take her out to lunch and introduce her to the gang (Milken's old lady, Ken Lay's woman, etc) but her lawyer said hell no. Perhaps most depressing is the freeze-out by sons Andy and Mark. Not because they've cut off contact, which they have, but because while she's sitting around the penthouse with no one to talk to, Ruth must think about the fact that she gave birth to two little bitches who "have begun to refer to "Mom" and "Dad" as "Ruth" and "Bernie," according to family friends" and, from what it sounds like, would probably completely sincerely make a "talk to the hand" gesture if passed by "Ruth" on the street.
According to image consultants, Ruth needs to start with a "sorry" and follow it up by working with cancer-stricken children or dogs that recently contracted HIV. Things that: could probably be construed as animal cruelty or grounds to call social services, and probably wouldn't do much to ingratiate herself to the public. I'm not saying it has to get this real, necessarily, but volunteering to serve in place of the ladies maybe doing hard time in N. Korea would probably do wonders in the way of getting people to take pity on her, as would a gig as the assistant to Charlie Gasparino, who will cut you if he doesn't have a bran muffin in hand by 7AM, and clips of interest from the Post. The Devil wears Wife Beaters.

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