What Should We Do With Lenny Dykstra's House?

Author:
Publish date:

The Daily Newsreports that a bunch of lucky homeless people have been put up in luxury condos that couldn't attract buyers in this market. CNBC's Scott Cohn noted earlier that foreclosed homes in Florida will be used as temporary housing for those displaced by hurricanes. And all that got us thinking-- what should we do with Lenny Dykstra's house?


Many of you will recall that last June, LD put his Thousand Oaks home on the market, hoping, bless his heart, to see a 33 percent return after having purchased it ten months earlier for $18.5 million. In April we learned the awful news that exactly no one went for the $24,950,000 asking price, despite Dykstra's genius idea to throw in some extras to clinch the deal, the coup de grace of the package being LD's "Discarded Dips Of Distinction," a collection of chewing tobacco from the great moments in his illustrious career, tastefully encased in a white gold-flecked display case. And the hits did not stop there. Private equity firm Index Investors, which granted Dykstra a $850,000 bridge loan in November, secured by the 8-bedroom manse, filed foreclosure papers on Dykstra's pad, as did Washington Mutual, on account of Nails defaulting on his $12 million mortgage (not to mention the fact that his Gulfstream was impounded).
We don't know what the current sitch is, but short of having come up with a bunch of cash (which we assume Len did not, as his so-called "friend" Jim Cramer failed to take up our suggestion to turn the 1000th episode of Mad Money into a Save Nails telethon, and his trick turning days are presumably over), we're pretty sure it's bad. Basically, he's most likely homeless, or will be soon, leaving the manse vacant. Obviously the possibilities for what to do with it are endless and my mind quite nearly explodes considering them all, especially when the "set of reality show for disgraced CEOs" and "Gasparino's Country Butcher Shop" ideas converge. Help me.

Related