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Who Wants An MD-Level Investment Bank Job?

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Because there are a gaggle of available ones as of yesterday. Up front, the catch is that you'll have to work at UBS but it's a small price to pay when you factor in the second to none tax advice you'll be getting on the house. Apparently the Swiss bank's global head of healthcare, Benjamin Lorello, was recently hired by Jefferies and somehow convinced most if not all of his team's senior bankers to come with. Supposedly the junior bankers on the 36th floor of 299 Park were unaware they were being abandoned until yesterday, when none of their superiors showed up. So, that's sad, in a three-legged dog with cancer way, but on the bright side, what with the absence of Lorello (he of "asses at desks by 9AM or I'll make you wish you were never born" fame), everyone will be able to take the summer a little easier, and mosey on in whenever they want (assuming there aren't any more cuts planned for the near future).
Related: Your Tardy Ass Will Not Be Tolerated At UBS--Fraud, Money Losing Begin Promptly At Nine A.M.


Who Wants To Invest In Phil Falcone's New Company?

Harbinger Global Corp is coming to an exchange near you. Phil Falcone, the embattled billionaire hedge fund manager, has put together an unorthodox IPO that will see his hedge fund firm contribute assets valued at $350 million to a blank check company that will trade publicly. In the deal, a special purpose acquisition company that is expected to trade on Nasdaq and be known as Harbinger Global Corp., will acquire a majority interest in an MGM-branded hotel and casino development in Vietnam and a minority interest in an iron ore producer working in Brazil. Funds run by Falcone’s Harbinger Capital Management that are contributing the assets will get an ownership stake that could be as high as 96% in Harbinger Global and Falcone is slated to become executive chairman of the company. Falcone’s move to become closely involved in a publicly-traded company is audacious given that he is currently facing securities fraud charges from the Securities & Exchange Commission. Yeah, well, people also thought it was audacious for him to invite a burlesque dancing pig he barely knew to come and live with him and she turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to him, so.

Layoffs Watch '15: RBS CEO Can't Give An Exact Number For Investment Bank Job But Sure, The Term 'Massacre' Would Be Fairly Accurate

He will absolutely not confirm the 14,000 out of 18,000 figure at this time but he will say visions of a bloodbath are representative of how things are going to play out.