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Allen Stanford Helps Speed Up Obama Landmark Plans

You can add 'World's Largest Jigsaw Puzzle Creator' to the list of Allen Stanford's accomplishments. Federal prosecutors have indicated that they will be reassembling three bags of shredded documents over the next two months as they continue with their case against Sir Allen and banking regulators in Antigua. Potentially sensing that this arts & crafts exercise is going to spell financial doom for tiny Caribbean nation, Antigua has apparently already conceded that American colonization is inevitable and is currently planning on renaming their highest peak Mount Obama next month.