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Bernie Has Been Getting Buff

Bernie has apparently been working out to make sure the sisters don't have their way with him. In his first interview since he relocated from the UES to Butner, North Carolina, King Ponz told Joseph Cotchett, a San Francisco lawyer threatening to sue the other Madoffs currently running free, that he was astonished that he got away with his fraud for as long as he did even though "There were several times that I met with the SEC and thought 'they got me". While Cotchett was undoubtedly interested in Bernie's thoughts on the nuances of his Ponzi scheme, he was truly mesmerized at the work Ponzarelli had done to his biceps and chest.

"He looked pretty good and seems to be working out," said Cotchett. "He looked a lot better than he has in some months since I've seen photographs of him."

As for the remaining Madoffs currently not behind bars, Bernie made it very clear which of them should be looking over their shoulder for the Feds.

"He cares about Ruth," said Cotchett, "but he doesn't give a ---- about his two sons, Mark and Andrew."