Bernie Madoff: I Let My Watch(es) Talk For Me

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And what are they saying? That Bernie was a baller, and also an imbecile, possibly. The Postreports that an upcoming book about B-boy, "Madoff With the Money," will expose a few previously unknown details about the Ponz Master. Some are of little interest (he was weaseled way out of serving in 'Nam, he was "a serial Casanova," he had to pay off female employees he might've banged). Others seem unlikely (supposedly acquaintances considered him "the dumbest man on Earth." Obviously you don't pull off the shit he did, for as long as he did without having something resembling a clue, leaving us to wonder, did Bernie actively play dumb to throw people off? And if so, how far did he go? Talkin' telling people he couldn't read, or, like, trying to convince them he was an actual rètard?). One is just. plain. awesome:

Just before Madoff's arrest, a pal ran into him in Central Park and saw him wearing two gold Rolexes on one wrist. "I gotta know what time it is in my London office," Madoff explained to the friend, who told Oppenheimer: "Think about that -- Bernie couldn't do the addition or the subtraction!