Caption Contest Friday: Anyone Missing An Intern?

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The photographer writes: "I just took this ten minutes ago as I was about to walk into my
office...I think it came out pretty well but that's a kid 100% passed out/maybe dead, on the bull, in his briefs. Two news reporters were just pulling up when I snapped this."
In all seriousness: WTF? If anyone has anything to get off their chests, please do so at this time.