Skip to main content

Charlie Gasparino, Who Goldman Sachs Is 'Obsessed' With, Wants SAC Capital Turned Into A Bank Because Of GS's Second Quarter Profits

  • Author:
  • Updated:

Stick with him, the Italian Lassie's making a point. It's like this, see. The way Charlie figures, Goldman Sachs operates in practice, if not in name, like a hedge fund. And there's this hedge fund up in Stamford called SAC, which Chaz has been following since it came up on his Google alert for 'testes and tits.' And so...if Goldman's gonna be a hedge fund that calls itself a bank...SAC should have to do the same. Gaspo got the idea while he was writing his latest column for The Daily Beast, in which he expounds on Goldman Capital Management. It makes a little bit of sense if you think about it.
Anyway, we called Chazpo to hear more about the plan, which he's yet to clear with Steve Cohen but will probably get the go-head for by the end of the week. Catching him on his way to lunch at San Pietro, we wondered if Charlie had taken into account that a public company might not be up to get down with employees being forced to wear dresses against their own will, which could be a dealbreaker for the Royal Bank of SAC. Had Charlie thought about that detail, we asked? Of course he had-- he's a professional after all. "If you're a government regulated bank, I believe that they have to respect all walks of life, including the ones you just specified," Chaz told us. While we had him on the phone, we decided to touch on a sore spot, which was only too palpable in today's column. GS and CG. What's up there? It seemed like there's some tension, specifically with Goldman flack Lucas Van Praag, who you know Charlie has a history with.
"Listen," Gasa told us. "I like Lucas Van Praag, but I don't like him enough to talk to him ten times a day. He emailed me like five times yesterday, yelling at me, sayin' I misrepresented GS. My thing is simply this: if Goldman wants to roll the dice, give up the bank charter. Also, Blankfein told a mutual friend that I'm a 'thug.' You believe that? I'm a sweetheart of a guy! They're obsessed with me over there."