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Former Classmate Throws Ruth Madoff Bone

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Things have been prettay prettay prettay bad of late for Ruth Madoff, who's about to have no place to live, no friends, no money ($2.3 million, whatevs), and no real reason to get out of bed in the morning, besides to get the Daily News. Today, however, comes a little pick me up and perhaps something of a prospect? Apparently Washington Post columnist Richard Cohen went to high school with Ruth and thought she was a hottie (which would maybe explain why he hated Bernie, who was in the class two years ahead):

Among the alumni of Far Rockaway High School in Queens are three Nobel Prize winners -- two in physics (Richard Feynman, Burton Richter) and one in medicine (Baruch Blumberg) -- plus a pioneer in women's basketball (Nancy Lieberman), a famous psychologist (Joyce Brothers), a financier (Carl Icahn) and, appallingly and with much regret, Bernard Madoff, Class of 1956. Apparently, even back then I didn't like him.
I was in the Class of 1958, two years behind Bernie, but in the same class as his wife, Ruth. She was my friend, or so our yearbook strongly suggests, although my memory of our friendship no longer speaks to me. I remember her only as really cute, an object of desire across a classroom or another. But in the yearbook she wrote a long inscription. It seems I teased her. It seems I kidded her. She forgave me all that and ended by writing that I would "meet Bernie at the prom -- and I guarantee he will say hello."

This is an obvious opportunity Ruth could potentially exploit. Clearly Dick spent at least four years pining after the girl, cursing Bernie for stealing his would-be bride and clearly he's still into her. He couldn't actually write "Confidential to Ruth Madoff: I still masturbate to the back of your head, now that your prick of a husband is in the slammer do I have a shot" but that's the message he's trying to send. Ruth, you need a place to live and a some spending money. Whether or not he was a D&D playing dork who you wouldn't give the time of day 50 years ago, this is something you should seriously consider.