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JPMorgan Analyst Picks Up Food Eating Challenge

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No doubt inspired, or more likely sickened, by yesterday's food eating failure, an analyst at JPMorgan is endeavoring to prove there exists a financial services hack on Wall Street still able to complete a measly challenge without claiming his stomach lining is too sensitive to finish the damn thing. One of every item in the vending machine, unclear on the time limit (one was not specified to us, which we're going to hope was an oversight). According to an onlooker, "I just smacked his belly and it sounded like a 55 gallon drum."
DONE: Special K bar, Wheat Thins, Oreo Snack cookies, Pop Corn (unpopped), Lays Potato Chips, Kit Kat, Gold Roll Pretzels, M&Ms Peanuts, Doritos, Almond Joy, Cheetos, Sun Chips Cheddar, Frito Lays Original, Cheez-It, Gold Honey Wheat Braids, Fig Newtons, Oreo Cookies, Short Bread Cookies, Pop Tarts Strawberry, Famous Amos Chocolate Chips, Animal Crackers, Twizzlers, Snack Wells Crème Sandwich, Twix, Rice Krispy Treat.
LEFT:M&Ms, Starburst, Ruger Wafers Chocolate, Ruger Wafers Vanilla, Snickers, 3 Musketeers, Hershey Bar, Raisinets, Welch's Fruit Snacks, Skittles.
We'll keep you posted.
Update: "Two of those Ruger Waffers and five blue M&Ms to go."
Update II: DONE. We're now told it was a 4-hour time limit (so: really that hard?), with $1,000 at stake.


First Food Eating Challenge Of 2013: Underway

It's another vending machine challenge and you know how we feel about those (too much time, not enough food, doesn't put hair on anyone's chest) BUT it does involve a contract (described as "amazing" by the half of Dealbreaker that was at one time licensed to practice law in New York), the terms of which state that in the event of a loss, the loser will pay for a lunch he's not invited to, so we've got award points for that.