LENNY DYKSTRA 'ABSOLUTELY' DOING A REALITY TV SHOW

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Sorry for the all-caps but guess what I'm not sorry because this is the one we've been waiting for. In an interview with Dan Patrick, L-Dykes says that after turning down twenty offers, he's finally decided to follow in the footsteps of the greats (The Buse, Stephen Baldwin, Haim and Feldman) and give us what we want: an all-access pass to Lenny town. What will the show be about? "Reality," Nails says. "Life man. Living the dream." Later, Nails claims that he and Jim Cramer are still tight, and that JC is really broken up about what happened, which strikes us as a crock since he's yet to turn Mad Money into a Save Nails telethon, which is what a true friend would do. Also:
- "I still have the jet" (despite evidence the contrary-- the private plane was taken away in February-- we pray to the god of brain damaged all-stars this is true, as you know how LD feels about flying commercial)
- "If I have to live in the street I would"
- "If I have to eat grass I will"
- "Thousands of people still invest with me" (and every tip he's dispensed has "worked out")
- "I only sleep twice a week. You caught me on my sleep day."
Take ten and listen to the whole thing now, or take the rest of the day and play it on loop. I don't have to tell you it will not disappoint.

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