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Let Your Lunch Box Talk For You

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There are a lot of ways to demonstrate to people that when you walk into the room, they're in the presence of prestige you can suck on. Previously, that did not include the carrying case in which you transported your lunch. Until now. What the hell am I talking about? All will be made clear after the jump, my transvestite beauts.

Like that? Unless you're one of those 2&20 brown-bagging types, the answer should be a resounding hell fuck yes. And for one lucky 3&50 brother in the bunch, that bad boy will be yours, once I come up with a contest worthy of this piece of merchandise, which I don't have to tell you makes whatever slop you happen munching on taste like money and will make anyone within a 200 radius gape in awe. Close your eyes and imagine what it'll be like to roll up to the desk with that thing. You can stop telling people why you're better than everyone in the world cause it's gonna be obvious.


Do You Let Your Watch Talk For You?

And if so, do want to wear one that says "I love UBS and I don't care who knows it" but unfortunately do not work for the bank and therefore were not given a timepiece that says just that? Do not despair. You, too, can now own Swatch watch that was specially commissioned to commemorate UBS's 150th birthday, provided you beat out all the other guys and girls who want a piece of it. Swatch Irony UBS Limited Edition - YCZ4001 - New for 2012 [eBay]

Is this you right now? Getty Images

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