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Live-Blogging The Bank Of America Conference Call

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9:24 The hold tunes have so far gone from elevator music to a recording of Ken Lewis's son's piano recital to the staff picks at the Sharper Image.
9:34 Ken Lewis in the hizzous. The past few quarters were bad. For the first quarter in a long time, though, we feel like we're not afraid anymore. You hear that? I said I'm not afraid anymore!
9:37 Reading of the press release. For anyone planning on asking a question (Mayo) but not finalized on what it might be, consider wondering aloud if KL watched yesterday's proceedings and if so, how he thought they went.
9:40 It's gonna be way harder to make money in the second half of the year than the first, so manage your expectations of what this powerhouse will be able to do now.
9:41 I know it's asking a lot, and you should do what feels right in your heart, but thinking about voting me, Ken Lewis, for Banker of the Year again.
9:49 Still reading of the press release. Merril Lynch and Countrywide are bright shining stars the true genius of which will be revealed at a later date.
9:51 Serious question: Did anyone else hear a train in the background?
9:57 If we had to pick one "surprise" that could really liven up this call, what would it be?
a) Some strange scuffling, the sound a mic being dropped, a "hey, what are you doing?" an empty bottle of Boone's crashing to the ground, and a raspy voice coming on the line and announcing "This is Hank Paulson."
b) Ken Lewis letting it slip that his next plan is to acquire Citi
c) Ken Lewis quitting
d) The sound a car peeling out of the parking lot and, ten minutes later, Ken Lewis, unaware he's still mic'd, being asked to recite the alphabet backwards, walk in a straight line and being thrown up against the hood of a state trooper's ride.
e) your call
Meredith Whitney, Meredith Whitney Advisors: No mute problems this time, boys! Maybe I am a tech analyst. [Put on serious voice] How do you feel about subprime in California?
Ken Lewis: California is so big. Just huge. Not as big as Texas, but way bigger than NC. I wonder, how many Ken Lewises you would have to lay down, if you started at the top and went all the way to the bottom. I'm like 5 feet and 9 inches, something like that so...I don't know how big is CA? Let's get a numbers guy on this. Anyway, 'cause CA is so big it's hard to talk about subprime there.
Mike Mayo, CLSA: Three questions comin' at ya: severity, seasonality, unemployment (you say ten percent unemployment, I say eleven and a half percent).
Ken Lewis: Can you repeat the question?
Mike Mayo: No, go.
Ken Lewis: [missed most the answer but this was the big finish:] I don't know if it's as simple as saying ten is less than eleven percent, but it's true.