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Madoff Shopping For New Digs

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Behind bars, obviously, but if you thought Big B was just going to let himself get assigned to any old dump, think again. Ponzi Boy has hired Herb Hoelter, CEO of the National Center on Institutions and Alternatives (NCIA) broker/prison consultant to help him land in the best possible joint (Hoelter's previous clients include Ivan Boesky and Michael Milken so he knows what he's doing here). Due to 150 year sentence Mades is not eligible for any of the Club Feds but if he and Herb play their cards right he could score a stay in some sort of "Camp Cupcake" or otherwise comfy home. Though the duo is shooting for a deluxe suite, not unlike the penthouse on East 64th, mostly anywhere will be preferable to the Ponzier's current situation:

"Anywhere he goes is likely to be better than where he is now, unless they throw him into the Supermax... He will be able to get exercise. He will be able to do something that makes him productive. He may be able to tutor other inmates."

Meanwhile, Ruth remains homeless (and, unlike some people, without access to a gym). If anyone's got any leads on a sublet (1 br desired, studio okay), let her know.
Madoff Hires Consultant To Shop For Best Prison [Daily Finance via Cityfile]