Man-Loving Jimmy Cayne's Indimidation Of Opponents In Bathroom Metaphor Of Financial Crisis?

Author:
Updated:
Original:

The latest issue of the New Yorker has an article by Malcolm Gladwell in which the author argues that it wasn't a failure of the regulators to regulate that caused the crisis, and it wasn't stupidity, it was the overconfident, too-cocky-for-their-own-good bankers who brought this thing to its knees. And speaking of cocks (actual and as a synonym for "asshole"), Gladwell identifies one banker in particular whose attitude, pre and post Apocalypse, is apparently emblematic of this particular brand of hubris-- Jimmy Cayne. We already know that the stoner CEO, in a fit of rage over Tim Geithner opening the discount window after it was too late to save Bear's trailer park of hemp, told William Cohan that TG was a glorified gay office clerk who "thinks he's got a big dick," and not an actual BSD like JC. He apparently also described at least one other so-called enemy in similar terms. This particular fellow was a man named Henry De Kwiatkowski, an investor who sued Bear Stearns in 1996 for negligence and a breach of fiduciary duty. A district court awarded De Kwiatkowski $164.5 million, but BSC appealed the ruling. The firm was ultimately successful, perhaps due to a baseless claim, or savvy lawyers, but here's how JC's drug addled brain remembers it going down:

"Their lead lawyer turned out to be about a 300-pound fag from Long Island...a really irritating guy who had cross-examined me and tried to kick the shit out of me in the lower court trial. Now when we walk into the courtroom for the appeal, they're arguing another case and we have to wait until they're finished. And I stopped this guy. I had to take a piss. I went into the bathroom to take a piss and came back and sat down. Then I see my blood enemy stand up and he's going to the bathroom. So I wait till he passes and then I follow him in and it's just he and I in the bathroom. And I said to him, 'Today you're going to get your ass kicked, big.' He ran out of the room. He thought I might have wanted to start it right there and then."

Gladwell could see Cayne giving this account prior to Bear biting the big one and it not being that big a deal but is totally beside himself over the notion that JC, after everything that's happened, would have the audacity to be such an arrogant prick, in print no less. So it's the 'tude of people like Cayne, apparently, that got us into this mess this time and will get us into it again at some point in the future. True/false? And after you answer that, riddle me this: what is up with Jimmy Cayne describing every one of his opponents as a homosexual (not included in the piece: $2/share? "That Dimon prick's some homo, I don't care who's polishing his knob." Overcharging him for White Widow? "God damn fag dealers")? And having keen interest in discussing their respective D's, sometimes going as far as checking them out in the men's room? And is it only a matter of time before his love letters with John Cheever are uncovered? And would any male ex-BSC'ers like to show us on the doll where JC touched you?

Related