SEC Finds A New Way To Distract Itself

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As the second quarter creative accounting season gets set to kick off, the SEC has identified another tangent to focus on. In addition to the Steve Jobs health conspiracy, the SEC has decided that now is the time to take a hard line on climate change. Having closely scrutinized all the major contributing factors to the economic freefall last year, Mary Schapiro's troops are starting at the top of the list and looking at the critical failure of companies to disclose or even mention the impact of climate change on their business. One of the SEC commissioners, Elisse Walters, aptly summed up the senselessness of this initiative by pointing out:

"We have a lot of internal education to do," she said. "This obviously is not an agency populated with climate experts, and we're going to talk to everyone who is knowledgeable in the area, who's willing to talk to us. We'll educate ourselves, and then we'll decide -- the staff will decide -- what to put before the commission or not."

Bernie never would have been able to get away with his little scheme had the SEC been looking into his power bills.
SEC Turnaround Sparks Sudden Look at Climate Disclosure [NYT]

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New York Times Finds A Weird Way To Kick Steve Cohen When He's Down

As you may have heard, things have not been going tremendously well for Steve Cohen of late. Two days before Thanksgiving, the government went public with its case against a former SAC Capital employee, Mathew Martoma, who it accused of masterminding the largest insider trading scheme ever. Cohen was neither charged nor mentioned by name in the criminal complaint, but he did make an appearance playing the role of "Portfolio Manager A," a part we have previously mentioned one does not want to portray, if it can be avoided. Then on Wednesday, it was disclosed that SAC had received a Wells notice, indicative of the SEC's plan to sue the fund and if that wasn't enough, sources also claimed investigators are considering naming Cohen personally in the suit, to boot. So things are not exactly going his way right now and what he could really use is a break. The government dropping all charges against Martoma and publicly stating it will stay out of the Big Guy's business forever starting right this second seems out of the question but even some small act of kindness would probably help. Allowing him to pass you on 95. Telling him he looks nice today. Asking, "Have you been working out?" Sending him humorous YouTube videos with a sweet note like, "Hang in there, bud. You're in my thoughts..." On the flip side, you know what he doesn't need? Wildly libelous claims that it's going to take a lot more than a "Correction" to forgive.