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Somebody Save These Barclays First Years!


Emergency mailbag:

About 40 Barclays S&T first years, all wearing Barclays T-shirts, are stuck in a broken down bus in the middle lane of an expressway somewhere in the vicinity of the Brooklyn bridge. They were on their way back from an end-of-training community service trip. Barclays has dispatched 15 black cars to pick up the Barclettes but the resulting traffic jam is so severe that none are getting through. The poor Barclettes are sweating it out Sanford style in a metal box with no air conditioning.


Bonus Watch '12: First Year Bank Robbers

Bonus expectations got ya down? Thinking about robbing a bank? You might want to reconsider. Not because it could be dangerous or you might go to jail or your disguise sucks but because, statistically speaking, it's not really worth your time. In terms of work put in you'd be much better off giving out hand jobs in the alley between 200 West and Shake Shack. In what’s billed as the first cost-benefit analysis of such crimes, three economists note that Britain saw 106 attempted or successful robberies of 10,500 branch banks in 2007. The average haul was $31,600, including the one-third of attempts that came up empty. The average “successful” heist landed about $46,600 — but about 20% of those successes were later tarnished, to say the least, when the raiders were arrested. Each incident involved an average of 1.6 people, resulting in a per-person take of $19,750: a mere half-years’ worth of wages for the average Britisher. (In the U.S., the authors say, the average total bank-robbery take, per incident, is even smaller, just over $4,000.) Think a half-year’s salary isn’t bad for one day’s work, plus a little planning? A “career” bank robber would more likely than not be arrested after only four attempts...“The return on an average bank robbery is, frankly, rubbish,” they write. Bank Robbery Doesn't Pay (Much) [Ideas Market/WSJ]

Bonus Watch '12: Second Year Barclays CEOs

In an effort to strike a balance between being competitive and responsible, Bob Diamond will only receive 6.3 million pounds ($10 million) for his work in 2011, down from $9 million in 2010. Technically, his total package amounts to 17 million pounds ($26.9 million), but that includes stuff from previous years. [Reuters]