The CNBC Stories That Will Blow Your Mind

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Or elicit a "no fucking shit," I can't decide which. This morning there are two of them, both about Dennis Kneale:
1) Apparently Kneale's on-air "meltdown" and rant against "digital dickweeds," who suggested DK's bold claim that the recession was over was dead wrong (and whose commenters* later noted that DK should be put in a burlap sack and beaten with reeds, that he was functionally retarded, and that he bears a resemblance to Beaker) was manufactured. Specifically by his producer, former Fox guy Jerry Burke (the one who told DK the outburst was poetry, and the best thing he'd ever done on the show). But...but I thought...but didn't Dennis say...didn't he tell a reporter this wasn't "about standing out"? And now you're telling us the truth is that the whole thing was a stunt "to draw attention and drum up buzz"? So it was all a sham? I mean, it makes sense, given that Dennis had been in the slot for 14 weeks and no one was really paying attention, and if you consider that CNBC talent is contractually obligated to not let 15 seconds go by without starting a fight over something, anything, with fellow colleagues or guest, lest they receive an electric shock to the nipple but....but this means we were lied to? And...used? And might never be able to trust anything that comes out of Dennis's mouth again?
2) DK (allegedly) gets drunk and gropes the wives of underlings.
*Some people--Dennis-- have trouble differentiating, and you guys should be getting credit for your contributions.

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