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Write-Offs: 07.22.09

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$$$ "Clearly, we can do better," Colm Kelleher, Morgan Stanley's chief financial officer, said after analysts pushed him on the weak trading numbers. [Dealbook]
$$$Bernie Madoff's Personal Ad (it's a fake, obviously, but posted on a real Craiglist-for-inmates site with his number and address so hopefully it'll be of interest to someone on the inside looking for love). [The Frisky]
$$$Would You Stand On Planes For Cheaper Tickets? [The Atlantic]
$$$ Investors Accuse NIR Group Of Providing 'Fanciful' Returns [FINalternatives]
$$$ Attorney For Three Former UBS Employees-- the quants who left for Jefferies, where the Swiss claim they took "prop trading secrets"--Fires Back [Traders Magazine]
$$$The wardens who run this asylum want you to take this survey. We're told it should be painless.