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Attention RBS Greenwich Capital Employees: Be Cool

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Several of you have emailed us today wondering if you're getting fired. The short answer, in our professional opinion: no, probably not. Apparently a bunch of the Queen's bitches have been made nervous by the uncharacteristic sight of the London bosses in Stamford this afternoon. But you needn't be, chippies. Not sure why this wasn't made clear but the visits are merely those friendly chats known as annual reviews, which were previously scheduled for March but put off due to extenuating circumstances. Those who've been through already report the experience was relatively painless and that it was actually something of an ass kissing session in an attempt to keep those who survived the guttings several months back happy. So get in there and milk it. You could probably get away with anything you want, and even some stuff you never agreed on beforehand without much argument. (Note: I suppose if your review didn't go well you could conceivably be looking at a "pack up your shit and don't come back" meeting down the road but it's unlikely, if you've made it this far. In sum, we spent the last couple days live-blogging tits and dick sizes, so there has to be someone in your office who'd know better than us.)