Federal Bureau of Prisons: Bernie Madoff Is Liar

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Oh hell no. No cancer for Little B, apparently, and supposedly the Post story was "riddled with inaccuracies," meaning Bernie may not in fact be treated to delicious wrap sandwiches on the reg, or making friends with the "homosexual posse" on the inside, or it's that bit about the relationships being "strictly platonic" that's a crock, or the part about him scoring the lead it Carousel. It's all hugely distressing as we were quite pleased to learn this morning that Berns was spending his days getting high, being wined and dined, mixing it up some hard bodies and dancing like nobody's watching. I don't like the idea of taking away even one aspect of the picture we were painted but apparently we have to. So let's get into this.

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