Greedy French, Germans Hoard Secret Recession Killing Plans

First of all, what the hell is France doing emerging from recession anything other than 4 years too late? Who authorized that waiver?
Second, Germany is not allowed to prosper at the expense of the rest of Europe again ever. What part of that memo was unclear, exactly?

Germany and France achieved a shock return to economic growth in the second quarter of the year, ending their recessions earlier than many policymakers and economists expected, but failed to drag the euro zone with them.
German gross domestic product rose by 0.3 percent in the second quarter, bringing an end to the country's deepest recession since World War Two.
French GDP also grew by 0.3 percent in the second quarter. The consensus in a Reuters poll of economists had predicted a 0.3 percent quarterly contraction in both countries.

How was it done?
Kidnap executives and hold them for ransom (pay hikes). Note: If German, talk about "bossnapping," but do nothing. Last thing we need is another Simon Wiesenthal snooping around here). Still even the French shouldn't do too much gloating as they totally stole the idea from the Americans:

Cash for Clunkers. Germany's two-fer, keeping autoworkers busyworked and and consumers spending like the missiles are already flying. What better way to perpetual motion the system than using taxpayer dollars to subsidize the purchase by taxpayers of taxpayer dollar produced automobiles?
"Invest in Green." (That is, make everything more expensive to bring the relative cost of "going green" in line with the umwelt schmutzig alternatives and create thousands of busywork jobs for unskilled labor installing government certified insulation panels).
Brilliant!
Germany and France Exit Recession [Reuters]