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Lenny Dykstra Pays Homage To Jim Cramer By Living In Car

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That's what he's telling Jane Wells, anyway. Last night being one of his "sleep days," LD says he stayed in the lobby of a Westwood hotel. Why isn't L-Dykes chilling in the mansion he's been temporarily allowed to stay in after filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy? Apparently his house is uninhabitable. And why would that be? Because our favorite ball player is a smarter than any of you have ever given him credit for, and in a fit of genius one night decided to tear through the place with a bat and a pair of pliers, ripping up floors and doing god knows what with toilets, in an attempt to get insurers to hand over $10 million. I just want you to take a moment and visualize what the scene that resulted in the following was like:

Dykstra says the main house, the one he bought from Gretzky, is riddled with water damage which Dykstra estimates will cost $10 million to repair. The palatial estate is pockmarked with torn up flooring, holes in walls, missing toilets, as inspectors have tried to determine the extent of the problem. Dykstra is also demanding the insurance company make good on its policy to put him up in a temporary residence because he says the house is now unlivable. "I don't mean to be crude," he says, "but where do they expect me to (go to the bathroom)?"

Of course, it wouldn't kill Jim Cramer to make some space for the guy, or at least free up an outhouse, considering his financial troubles are all JC's fault, but I guess that'd be too much to ask.


Prosecutors Want Jim Cramer-Endorsed Investor Lenny Dykstra To Do Thirty Months In Jail

They say that's the only way Dykstra* will learn that in our society, you can't rip toilets and other bathroom fixtures out of the floor and sell them to a pawn shops just because you feel like it, or drop trou for the cleaning staff.