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Madoff Mistress Now Talking Girth

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Yesterday Sheryl Weinstein, the woman writing a book about being screwed by Bernie Madoff, informed us that contrary to popular belief, Berns ain't packin'. She stopped short of going into greater detail, presumably because she's got a plan to milk this thing through Labor day. What we're looking at is a long slow build up that will involve us waking each morning to learn another fact about Bernie's D that we won't be able to unlearn, hard as we try, until she shoots her load in our face sometime around September 7. Here's today's offering:

"Bernie had a very small penis," she writes. "Not only was it on the short side, it was small in circumference. That he was now pointing it out to me was telling. It clearly caused him great angst. I wanted to be careful how I responded. Men and their penises have a strange and unique relationship."

Oh, but don't worry about the Invisible D preventing B from getting the job done. Weinstein, horrifically, goes on. "I liked this man and didn't want to emasculate him," she said. "His tiny penis hadn't prevented me from climaxing." Tomorrow: cock-bush, yea or nay? I don't think it's out of the realm of possibility Sheryl's going to tell us.