That's what his former secretary, Liza Minelli doppelgänger Eleanor Squillari seems to be implying! When asked about the matter of her boss getting down with Sheryl Weinstein, whose upcoming book promises an "intimate" look at the Madoff package, the administrative assistant recalled that "Weinstein would often call Madoff and that he would roll his eyes and then they would go and meet at a hotel." Meouch bitch. And yet: nice try. But we're not fooled, sister. Conclusive evidenced is yet to prove whether or not Bernie was doing Sheryl out of charity, but I got the distinct impression during her interview with Vanity Fair that Liza wanted a piece of Big B herself, despite attempts to convince us that she wasn't into the on-the-job ass grabbing, and girlfriend is just jealous. Of course, the only way to settle this is an in-depth account of every single one of his sexploits over the last 100 years, up to and including whatever tail is currently being slayed on the inside.