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Meet The New Stimulus Beneficiaries

The nobody gets left behind stimulus plan is starting to really stretch its wings. The government decided that 1700 prisoners in Massachusetts needed a helping hand with their ability to do business behind bars and sent each of them a $250 stimulus check. While inmates may be far more familiar with the intrinsic value of a pack of Marlboros than the US Dollar, one of their brethren would undoubtedly be glad to help them put their money to work. One can only hope there is some prisoner that goes by the name of Jackhammer or the like that is selling his flock on the virtues of the split-strike conversion strategy that The Godfather in Butner said would be perfect for their little windfall.
Stimulus Checks Mistakenly Sent to 1,700 Inmates, Federal Agency Says [Fox News]