Opening Bell: 08.20.09
Bernanke, a Hero to His Own, Can't Shake Critics (NYT)
Those bastards in Congress won't get off his ass but on the bright side the Beard was able to attend his son's wedding and get home in time for dinner a few times in the past couple months.
London always finds a way to shell out for bonuses (Telegraph)
According to headhunters, "guaranteed bonuses are increasingly being abused." Since the Financial Services Authority outlawed multi-year guarantees but said it would tolerate those for a single year, "guarantees have come back in fashion," one recruitment consultant said. "People are being offered amazing guarantees."
SEC Plays Keep-Up in High-Tech Race (WSJ)
The regulator is trying to "take a close look at flash quotes, high-frequency trading and other dark corners of the stock markets" but really has absolutely no idea what it's doing, if Mary Schapiro can be totally honest.
Switzerland Selling UBS Stake After U.S. Tax Accord (Bloomberg)
You get a little bad press re: breaking the law and all of a sudden no one wants anything to do with you.
Bear Stearns Exec Ignored Conflict Warnings (Reuters)
Probably too busy getting high. No, but seriously: Ralph Cioffi apparently "routinely ignored warnings of potential conflicts of interest, and was rebuffed when he tried to pledge some money toward a loan to build a luxury Florida condominium."
Ind. money manager sentenced for Fla. plane crash (AP)
Marcus Schrenker gets four years, cries. "To this day I cannot believe I could do something so reckless and selfish," he told U.S. District Judge Roger Vinson on Wednesday. "I believe a divine force gently put the aircraft down in the swamp. It is my hope the residents of Milton feel my pain. If someone had gotten hurt, I do not know what I would do."
UK Movie Aims To Find Lehman Lessons (NYP)
One "former high-ranking" exec (Dick Fuld) is not happy with the casting of Corey Johnson as the Gorilla. "[He's] way too young -- not hard enough, not serious enough -- [and he] looks bewildered," this person said. "Dick was never bewildered."
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This morning in gorging yourself for sport: "Today sees the famous vending machine challenge occurring in London. 6000 calories in 5.5hours by an intern at Citi. Currently finished 16 out of 27 items. Looking 50/50 to finish with a 2pm London Time cutoff." We'll keep you posted.
Update, 8:20AM: 40 minutes and 4 items to go
Update II: "Had 8 minutes to go...1 mars bar left....and he vomited! on the desk! FAIL!!!!"