Ralph Cioffi, the manager in charge of the two ridiculously named Bear Stearns funds--High Grade Structured Credit Strategies Fund and High Grade Structured Credit Strategies Enhanced Leverage Fund-- that bit the bullet in 2007 is set to take the stand October 12, along with this partner in (possible) crime, Matthew Tannin. Ahead of the big day, Gabe Sherman at New York has checked in to see how things have been going for Big R since the perp walk. Not so good! In fact, one might say downright bad. First off, he had to sell his Southampton house this past July for "millions less" than his $11.875 million asking price. Then, he was forced to get rid of two Ferraris, leaving him with only one. But most upsetting? The hardest thing to take? The mother of all blows to the ego?

It's been a lonely time for Cioffi ever since he was paraded in front of reporters last June. Only one of Bear's top brass called after he was indicted. Alan Schwartz, Cayne's successor, called once.

That's right. At a time when the offer to smoke a J is probably just the thing that could lift Cioffi's spirits, there's been nary a peep from his stoner boss. Of course, there's a logical explanation for the silence-- Cayne is too busy running down his list of opponents, in alphabetical order, and telling reporters they're all gay-- but it would be nice if he could pencil this in. Cioffi could probably also be suckered into paying for the weed and chips, so everybody wins.