Sergey Aleynikov Holds All The Cards (No, Really).

Author:
Equity Private
Updated:
Jan 14, 2019
Original:
Aug 4, 2009

I mean, seriously. For a guy who spilled everything and talked for four straight hours to the FBI before even saying the word "lawyer" in passing, for that kind of nightmare client, Sergey's lawyer is doing pretty well.
Of course, when you factor in the seriousness of any public relations mess created by a Sergey spill during any trial, it doesn't really matter much to Goldman what the guy did or did not say to the FBI, or even if he spends a minute longer behind bars.

Today was the day for prosecutors to indict Aleynikov, who was arrested on July 3 on the theft charges. But in a court filing, prosecutors told the presiding magistrate judge that they need another 14 days to continue discussions with Aleynikov's lawyer about a "possible disposition."

After receiving his conditional discharge/probation, what, exactly, will Sergey be paid not to write a tell-all book about Goldman?
Will Sergey Cut a Deal? [Reuters Blogs]

One thing that I may have mentioned here is that, before I was lured to the blogging industry by the outrageous lucre on offer, I worked at this little establishment called Goldman Sachs. One thing that I probably haven't told you, but that I've mentioned to a few friends and co-workers, is that due to some frankly inexplicable confusion, the time between my telling people "I am leaving to go work for Dealbreaker" and my being escorted out of the building by active-duty Navy SEALS was somewhat longer than you might expect (viz. several nanoseconds). One thing that I've never told anybody, so let's keep it between us, is that I made good use of the delay to download certain files to a flash drive. I won't discuss all the details, since I'm using some of those files to set up my own high-frequency insider trading fund, but I will mention that with the right codes the voice recorders in the GS elevators can be accessed remotely.* One reason I never told anyone about this before is that Goldman takes it badly when people take stuff with them on the way out, and has a tendency to react by having them imprisoned for the better part of a decade. After today, though, it looks like I'm good to go:

Which seems, y'know, reasonable.

One of my favorite recent acts of journalism is the Journal's amazing series about how everything you could possibly do is a federal crime, which is both a true fact with serious policy implications and also an important thing for you to remember if you want to stay out of federal prison, which I do; you may disagree but you are wrong. Here's a pro tip though that you will not (yet) find in the Journal series: there is a decent chance that reading Dealbreaker is a federal crime where you are. The reason for that is that there is a federal statute that says that if (1) there is a computer and (2) someone tells you not to do a thing on it and (3) you do that thing on that computer, then (4) PRISON! And if you work in finance then (1) yes, (2) maybe?,* (3) yes, and (4) no but it could happen. An important qualifier to that is: as of yesterday, if you're in California, feel free to read Dealbreaker from your work computer. Hell, go nuts, check Facebook. That's what a Federal appellate court ruled yesterday, finding against the government, who were prosecuting a guy named David Nosal for violating his employer's computer use policy. Here's how the court characterized what the government wanted:

Legally, a real thing. By Evan-Amos (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Sergey Aleynikov: Still fucked...again.

"Hey, what the hell are you doing with that avocado?!" "I KNOW you didn't just put a piece of lettuce on my sandwich??" [A struggle over deli meat ensues]

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