The Perks Of Being An Ex-Goldman Wife: Shame Free DWI's

Author:
Publish date:
Updated on

Being married to the (Hebrew) mob clearly has its benefits but where it's a real buzz kill is in the getting shitfaced in public department. It's more or less frowned upon, particularly if your husb is high-profile enough for the scene to get press. All the Mrs. Goldman girls in the house know what I'm talking about. Sometimes you just wanna get hammered in front of an audience and act out, for whatever reason, but can't because you know once Lloyd gets wind of it he's going to come down on your ass with an earful about not attracting negative attention that could later contribute to little pissant journalists writing salacious and baseless lies about the firm and its inability to blow less than a .85 on random breathalyzer tests, copy that should be reserved for bitches o' Bank of America. The relentless harping to "make 'em virgins ladies" and the persistent fear LB's gonna grab you by the elbow and escort you out of the room, then hose you down like a junkie if he smells even a hint of booze on your breath would explain why certain wives have resorted to simply acting like miserable shrews sober. So it's only natural that once you're the outside, 'cause your man quit or got fired, you'd want to suck in the freedom that is getting loaded and charged with DWI'swithout judgment, and that look, above, which is LB's "What do you think this is, a god damn halfway house, ya fuckin drunk? I'm not happy and there'll be hell to pay" face.

IT'S been a rough year for Ray and Jane Iwanowski. The couple was flying high last year, with Ray, 42, running the Global Alpha hedge fund for Goldman Sachs. In September, they bought a 4,184-square-foot, nine-room apartment at 823 Park Ave. for $13.5 million. But then, in March, Ray and his partner Mark Carhart both retired from Goldman, having suffered investment losses and client redemptions which brought the fund's assets down from $12 billion in 2007 to $2.5 billion. And on July 26, Jane, 48, was arrested in East Hampton on a misdemeanor charge of DWI after driving her 2003 BMW into a tree near the Iwanowskis' nearby house.

Related