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Wall Street Sequel Secures Actress Willing To Fake It With Shia LaBeouf

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British thespian Carey Mulligan, left, will apparently be playing the love interest of ShiBeouf (and daughter of Gordon Gekko) in Money Never Sleeps. Josh Brolin is yet to accept the role of the "evil" short-seller, after it was turned down by Javier Bardem in a move that left the hedge fund industry reeling, as it was lobbying hard for an actor that could pull off a bowl cut (such as this guy, still waiting for an offer). Also up for grabs is the minor (/major) part of Biff Basness, who Gekko meets on the inside and with whom he starts an underground cock fighting league. If you've got any suggestions, let's hear 'em.