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Bank of America: You Want Our Emails? You Got 'Em!

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As some of you may have observed, we've given Bank of America and Ken Lewis a lot of shit over the past year, most of it well-deserved. Since sometimes it's hard to detect when we're actually being sincere in our praise, let us just say that when we say Bank of America and its commander in chief are awesome right now, we absolutely mean it because holy case of Strawberry Hill have they outdone themselves. Here's the response they elicited from Congressmen Edolphus Towns, after he subpoenaed their emails in an attempt to gain clarity re: why and how the Merrill Lynch deal went down. The best thing about Lewis and Co's decision to send a fuck you message to the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform by deluging the team with everything that passed through their servers is that they, of all people, can most convincingly play the dumb card. "What? You said you wanted our emails, didn't you?"

In addition, many of the documents produced so far are clearly irrelevant to the committee's investigation. My August 6 letter requested records "created between September 1, 2008 and January 16, 2009 that relate to the financial losses at Merrill Lynch or to Bank of America's receipt of financial assistance from the United States Government." You responded to this request by providing hundreds of pages of unrelated, extraneous information.
For example, you sent copies of numerous emails you received from your own employees expressing admiration for your "awesome" performance on 60 Minutes. You also included copies of emails alerting Bank of America employees to discounts at Wal-Mart, Target, and Costco; an announcement of the "Annual Pecan sale," featuring "This Year's Crop of Mammoth Pecan Halves"; and an invitation to attend a conference on investment in East Asia, written in Chinese. There were numerous other pages of obviously irrelevant material.

And what might have those been? Obviously we've got the "Ken Lewis is the man" category, but we're talking literally every email from last year. Clearly the fall-out with regard to getting rid of Spirit Points had to have taken up a lot of e-space. Trash talk about Thain. Recaps of Lost. A series of back and forths between Angelo Mozilo and in-house counsel over whether or not it's appropriate to tan in the buff at a public company. Emails to yours truly. Reminders about weekly 2-for-1 drinks at KL's favorite biker bar. Strongly worded memos re: it being "everyone's responsibility to keep the f*cking microwave clean." Correspondence between Charlie Gasparino and a first year analyst that began with the subject line, "You ever been to Rego Park"?
Congress Does Not Want to Hear About How 'Mammoth' Bank of America's Nuts Are [NYM]


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