Bloomberg: Don't Flip Off Your Former Employer After Getting Fired, Particularly If Said Employer Is Known For Swathing Himself In Fleece

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The 'berg had a story running on the main page for the better part of this morning today about two SAC employees who'd been let go from the London office in September and were recently rehired. That was pretty much all there was to it, save for this mind-blowing bit of career advice: "The message is don't burn your bridges and leave on bad terms," said Clayton Heijman, founder and CEO of Darwin Platform, an Amsterdam-based provider of hedge-fund services. "The hedge-fund universe is a very small community, and you never know when you may need your former employer again." We're going to assume here that Bloomberg didn't simply throw that in as an attempt to legitimize an otherwise a remarkably unremarkable story, but instead to lay a coded message on the asses of current candy stripers at the House of Stevie. Apparently it's become something a trend for those banished from the Cohen Kingdom to lash out in the heat of the moment and do things they might later regret, effectively screwing themselves out of a second shot at glory on the off-chance the big guy might ask his number two a few months down the road, "Who was that trader we fired over the summer? The one with the ass you could bounce a quarter off of?" "Bob?" "Yeah Bob. Let's get him back." So that you might keep yourself all good in Stevie's neighborhood, we've provided a list of bridge-burning transgressions that will result in you not getting invited back to the party. You'd be wise to not:


* Spit in, jack off, or otherwise fuck with the contents of the deep fryer.
* Back the Zamboni out of the garage with the door closed.
* Photoshop the face of your old boss on to the body of the sexy beasts at HornyManatee.com, and assemble the various prints (manateen, shaved manatee, fetish manatee) for some sort of pin-up-esque calendar.
* Think Big Poppa's tab at Hula Hank's is still open to you and yours. It's not, and you'll be paying for those Jager bombs.

Related

This Is A Story About Jim Rogers Allegedly Flipping Out On His Dentist After Allegedly Receiving "Cosmetic Enhancements" To His Teeth

One thing many tend to forget when thinking about multi-billionaires is that multi-billionaires are people too. People who just want to be loved. People who just want to feel good about themselves. People who just want to be beautiful. And just because they are worth mucho dinero does not necessarily mean that when they look in the mirror, they like what they see back. So they try and improve their appearances, thinking a tighter ass or more sculpted calves or higher cheekbones will make them happy and when things don't pan out like they'd hoped, they get a little upset. Take Jim Rogers, for instance. He supposedly wanted movie star teeth. So he went to his dentist in Singapore and had a new set put in and when they started falling out, well, can you really blame him for storming the office and making a scene? An American billionaire, a permanent resident here, is suing his dentist over a treatment that has left little for either party to smile about. Investment guru Jim Rogers, 69, wants a reimbursement of the $48,150 he spent on ceramic enhancements to his teeth recommended by Dr Ernest Rex Tan of Smile Inc Dental - and compensation on top of that. It is unclear how much compensation is being sought, but Chinese-language daily Lianhe Zaobao reported yesterday that the case is to be heard in the High Court, where only claims above $250,000 are dealt with. Dr Tan, 43, is fighting back, and counter-claiming for defamation. Zaobao reported court documents as saying that Mr Rogers is accusing Dr Tan and his practice of negligence for recommending partial-coverage ceramic restoration that turned out to be unsuitable for his teeth. The ceramic enhancements on his teeth later fell off. Dr Tan said Mr Rogers had not gone to him for treatment of temporomandibular joint disorder, but had wanted cosmetic enhancements to his teeth. The dentist said he had warned his patient about the potential problems, but Mr Rogers had decided to go ahead with it. He added that Mr Rogers had also ignored his advice to wear a dental splint. At a consultation to fix the fallen enhancements, the dentist said, Mr Rogers shouted at him in front of his staff and patients; he added that Mr Rogers also defamed him in a letter to six people. According to a spokesman for Rogers, a statement on the matter will be released "at an appropriate time." It's unclear when that is, or if it will be via a letter to investors, but we will of course keep you posted. American Investment Guru Sues Dentist [SLW]