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Help Jamie Dimon Name His Bar 'n Grill

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Many of you have spent countless nights fantasizing about what it would be like getting drunk with Jamie Dimon. But it was just that-- a fantasy that you never imagined would come true. Well, peasants, today comes the thrilling news that if we can get JD to quit his gig on Park, this thing could actually happen. It's on the tip of his tongue and all we have to do is coax it out. Courtesy of Mrs. Judy Dimon, the lowdown on JD's plans for the future:

"One fantasy, according to his wife: opening his own restaurant and turning himself into Sam Malone of Cheers. (That, or maybe he might finally go and climb Mount Kilimanjaro.)"-- Last Man Standing

Alright, now focus. We need a name, and a gimmick. What's going to be the "thing" at [Dimon in The Rough? Dimon's Dive? Dungeons and Dimons?]? JD is second to none at flip-cup so there might be something there but need to think bigger-- Vikram Pandit and Sandy Weill urinal cakes?


His Trophy Case Full, Jamie Dimon Leaves Competitive Dancing To The Rest Of The Family

[caption id="attachment_73269" align="alignright" width="260" caption="People who *can* dance"][/caption] There are a lot of things Jamie Dimon is very, very good at: building a fortress balance sheet, chatting up reporters in elevators, doing sake bombs, and being appreciably better looking than his peers, to name just a few. In other areas, the JPMorgan CEO has left room for improvement. For example, his dancing skills, about which Dimon's own wife and mother are unsparing in their directness at this point. JPMorgan Chief Executive Officer Jamie Dimon “is a terrible dancer,” his wife, Judy Dimon, said last night at a gala for Ballet Hispanico, of which JPMorgan was the lead sponsor. She then moved her shoulders straight up and down to demonstrate what the 56 year-old leader of the biggest US bank, with $2.27 trillion of assets at year-end, does on the dance floor. Jame Dimon's mom, Themis Dimon, was no more encouraging. Is he a good dancer? "No," she said, shaking her head. Jamie Dimon wasn't present to prove otherwise. “Unfortunately he couldn’t be here tonight because he had another commitment,” said his wife, a Ballet Hispanico board member and the event’s honorary chairman. Too bad. Jamie Dimon missed a good party. His wife, in a slim-fitting coral gown, danced a salsa with New York Giants wide receiver Victor Cruz, reminiscent of his moves in the end zone after scoring a touchdown. Speaking of people who can hold their own on the dance floor? “We like to dance,” Jamie Dimon's father Theodore Dimon, there with his wife and Jamie's twin brother, told Bloomberg. “We dance the fox trot -- it’s nice and easy.” Scene Last Night: Victor Cruz, Dimon for Ballet Hispanico [Bloomberg]