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Madoff's Hideous Beach House Sold

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ABCNews reports that the Grand Master of Ponz's Montauk beach house has sold in an all cash deal for "over the asking price" (which was $8.75 million) to an unknown buyer (take your best guess) with a love of Formica countertops. This news should please US Marshall Roland Ubaldo greatly, who went to bat for the home insisting it is "really breathtaking, simple, stylish, with an understated elegance" after CNN Money went to town on the place and its "smallish bedrooms," "unremarkable" layout, "lack of style," proximity to the beach that will probably result in the new owner drowning, and general taint of scandal. This might also serve as a teachable moment to Tim Geithner, whose Larchmont home remains unsold, about what sells in this market. In related news, Berns's Palm Beach pad and penthouse on East 64th are still available. You want a piece of this.

[Bernie's throne room.]