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Opening Bell: 09.03.09

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Will AIG Reign In Its Brash CEO? (WSJ)
For the love of God please say no, or at least not til after the words "I'm gonna bust that guy's knee-caps" in reference to Cuomo are uttered. (BTW, it took two people to write this article, which includes a flow chart.)
Allen Stanford Has Surgery (Houston Chronicle)
He's recovering nicely, which is less than we can say for the orderly who got punched in the mouth.
Pot 'Plantations' On The Rise (WSJ)
"Authorities have discovered pot farms in 61 national forests across 16 states this year, up from 49 forests in 10 states last year. New territories include public land in Colorado, Wisconsin, Michigan, Alabama and Virginia...So far this fiscal year, which ends Sept. 30, federal agents have raided 487 pot farms on forest-service land, where they destroyed 2.6 million marijuana plants, seized 138 firearms and made 369 arrests on felony drug charges."

Edinburgh Hedge Funds Feel Madoff Effect as Clients Get Pickier
All of a sudden people are demanding shit like disclosure.
Cerberus To Ban Withdrawals From New Funds (Reuters)
Going with the three year lock-up this time around, after the whole $4.77 billion in redemptions situation.

Ex-Lehman Trader Bedwick to Manage OGI Global Macro Hedge Fund
You're gonna wanna get some of this.
Spitzer's Babe Backs Run For Office, Slaps The Snobs (NYP)
Ashley Dupre (or, you know, someone else) wrote this (and more) so much awesomeness on her blog last night: "I read the front page of the NY Post this week and was happy to see that Mr. Spitzer is moving on with his life and considering getting back into politics. Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone deserves a second chance. Me too, right? Well, apparently not. Why? Because many people are liars and hypocrites. Let me give you just a few examples of what I keep encountering, despite my best efforts to move on...ladies, ladies, ladies - so many of you have been cool, supportive and loving. But there are those of you out there who just love to judge. Let me say this - most girls, to varying degrees, of course, want to be pampered and have nice shoes, designer handbags and gorgeous clothes. I know many women who target guys with money and use them to get these things. They toy with them, flirt, go on dates, have sex and then drop hints about that new dress at the store down the street or being short on rent money - and the guys deliver it. This is a dishonest relationship. I see this all over New York City. Some women aren't as vindictive, but still dive into relationships with wealthy guys who they don't love or even find attractive, but they stay in it because they have a nice home, a car and spending money - they would rather stay in an unfulfilling or loveless relationship than lose that security. This, too, is a dishonest relationship. I see this type all over the suburbs of New Jersey with the housewives who are strung out on mood stabilizers or the couples who put all their attention on their chil dren so they don't have to deal with their own issues."
Then she promoted her new single, "Inside Out."


Opening Bell: 3.15.16

Ex-Sequoia partner says sex-abuse suit is extortion; Blacktstone near deal to sell hotel portfolio; 'Unknown animal' measuring 13 feet long baffles authorities on Mexican beach; and more.


Opening Bell: 2.16.17

Snap sets IPO price; solar permabear gets no love from the industry; models make a killing delivering weed; and more.


Opening Bell: 1.27.17

Ackman tries subtlety for a change; hedge funds hit paydirt tracking planes; at least one Burger King has a secret weed menu; and more.