Tips For Giving Us Tips: A Case Study

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First off, let me just say that we love when you people give us tips, any tips, big and small. As we would like nothing more than the flow of information to continue at a pace, and because this is somewhat contingent on keeping you employed, this morning I'd like to address an issue of tip line etiquette that's become something of a problem. You are of course free to contact us however you like (more on that momentarily) but if you're going to go the e-mail route, and if you're giving us the lowdown on something that might scream "I'm not doing my job!" consider not sending us the 411 from your work account? I'm ballparking it here, but the last six or so food eating challenges have fallen into our laps via places like imjerkingoffatwork@jpmorgan.com or pssstoverhere@citi.com and firemefiremefireme@cnbc.com. Some of you have bosses who are totally cool with this productive use of your time. However, there remain some unimaginative fucks who've yet to embrace the value added of a (successfully completed) show of gastrointestinal fortitude. So much so, apparently, that a few ahead of the curve firms have specifically hired in-house junior detectives to crackdown on the fun. Like this little minx who attempted to put her sleuthing skills to work yesterday:

Hi Bess,
I've been receiving some internal inquiries re: one your posts on DealBreaker today (Nothing To Fear: Steve Rattner Will Drag This Lil' Fella Across The Finish Line).
Is this in relation to GMAC Financial Service? If so, can you provide me with some background? What GMAC location? Who, etc.? I find this rather entertaining (I'm new to the Vending Machine Contest concept) and hope to provide some feedback to colleagues.
Thanks,
[redacted]
GMAC Financial Services

I don't want to be too harsh because this lady was just doing her job, albeit poorly. Plus, she's not alone in her attempt to "trick" the info out of us. Some of the tri-state area's most notable hedge funds have gone the "act casual" route ("So, I'm new to this, where do the investor letters come from? It's just so interesting to me, I'd love to hear more about it, who specifically sent you the returns, where they live, SSN, etc etc etc."), though none have nailed it so perfectly as she. So right off the bat, props where props are due. [Redacted] knew to appeal to our baser instincts, namely having our egos massaged and lavished with well-deserved praise. Oh, do you find this "rather entertaining," [redacted]? I mean, I know it is but I love when other people tell me as much, particularly when they lay it on extremely thick. Make it rain obscene compliments on my face, [redacted]. And taking an exercise in goring oneself on snack packs and referring to it as a "concept," thereby adding a certain level of prestige to the whole thing was also good. I actually almost hit reply and began composing a detailed primer on the whole thing, starting with that fateful afternoon at Ulysses and bringing it all the way through yesterday afternoon. No, just fucking with you! This might've worked on some local yokel financial website, but not on Dealbreaker, where we're not so easily had. You're going to have to wake up pretty early to take DB.com for a ride, guy.
In sum, send us tips however you want, but our professional recommendation, unless the content of the message is a glowing piece of prose on your boss being "the absolute tits," is to do so from a secure line. We were able to protect the innocent this time, but in the event you've got a slightly sharper PI among the ranks, do yourself a favor and don't create such a blatant e-trail. If you need an added level of security and would like to call it in, we can be reached at the office at 212-334-1871 ex. 5, or shoot something brief to the text line at 973-495-0177.

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