Investment Banking Self-Defense On The Strip

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Have you ever wanted to learn how to kill a person with your bare hands, as a matter of self-defense or just cause? Are you going to be in Vegas the weekend of the 14th? I am and I thought we could take this class together, which comes highly recommended by the "senior staff" at Goldman.*

Good afternoon,
Las Vegas' Tim Larkin is teaching Investment Bankers 'How to Kill' as a method of self defence at a closed-venue in Las Vegas on 14th and 15th November. He has taught senior staff of Goldman Sachs, JP Morgan, Deutche Bank and Credit Suisse and also Scotland Yard.

"Investment Bankers also need to be able to protect themselves against attacks with sharp-edged weapons particularly when travelling to emerging markets," says Tim Larkin. "Target Focus Training also improves mental agility which is fundamental for success in business."
When approached by one or multiple attackers, Larkin says "We have only 5 seconds to act to save our lives. Passivity and negotiation is not an option if you want to survive. Ultimate violence is."

If you can't make it, Charlie Gasparino, author of The Beatin' That Bear Stearns Took, will be holding his own seminar on the same subject matter the first week of December in the alley behind Tropix, his favorite joint in Rego Park where they have a lax policy on underage drinking. Tuition's on the house but you'll need to buy him a week's worth of martini's afterward. Bring your own crowbar. No pussies.
Wall Streeters Can Get Special Lesson In 'How To Kill' [BI]
*It's unclear if that includes Lloyd Blankfein, though presumably not, as he grew up in the Bronx and doesn't need to be taught shit about how to defend himself.

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