Brilliant legal mind Lenny Dykstra is now representing himself in his Chapter 11 bankruptcy proceedings. While there's only a remote possibility he'll get to argue in an actual courtroom trial that includes examining of witnesses (in which case, please call Jim Cramer and LD's "fucking derelict business partners" to the stand), the bottom line is that he's going to have the opportunity to open his mouth and spew legal terms and half-chewed Twizzlers. No further questions. I'll hold you in contempt. Get your fucking hands me, vampire bat.