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Saturday, November 21, 2009. Don't ask questions, just do as I say and clear your schedule.

Otherwise you'll be missing out on the social event of the holiday season. Seven words: "SAC Capital Advisors Giant Balloon Inflation Party." Southern Connecticut residents will recognize this event as the kick off to the annual UBS Parade Spectacular through downtown the Sunday before Thanksgiving. Those of you with a clue, however, know this is the shit you want in on. Don't offer me PTJ's Christmas spectacular. Fuck Biff Bassness's Festivus. Cohen was there last year, and is expected, fingers crossed, to not only make a repeat appearance, but pitch in and blow some animals himself (he's been practicing real hard so make sure to request something technically difficult and let him show off the skills). The organizers tell us there'll be over 200,000 families so you're probably going to have to trample some small children to ensure you go home with a giraffe but it'll be worth it. Hoyt Street. See you there.