What Else Did Colleagues "Do" To Raj Rajaratnam?


First off, we weren't even going to mention obscenities that appeared on the front page of the Journal today. Obviously, I'm talking about this:

Why? Because we're an upstanding financial publication with standards, unlike the smut factory Rupert Murdoch is running. But then a few things happened. 1) You people would not stop e-mailing us about it. 2) I started to realize that this wasn't just some accidental slip of the tongue on the headline writer's part but a calculated course of action to send us a serious coded message about what's been a' poppin' over at the Galleon Group (The scribes brought it on home by beginning the third paragraph thusly: "Parts of that network appear to have turned on the billionaire investor"). 3) I found myself with time on my hands, given that Raj is yet to call us back to talk shop (tried him at the office twice and a few times at home; his assistant seemed flustered and in chatting with the wife, I'm prettay prettay prettay sure I detected some growing irritation on her part, though she claimed she'd pass on the message we'd called). So, I did what anyone in my position might do, and uncovered some of the rejected headlines the Journal originally wanted to go with but were sadly prohibited from using. I don't have them all so if you caught wind of any, let us know below.
* Colleagues Finger Bang Billionaire
* Colleagues Fist Billionaire

* Colleagues Screw Billionaire
* Colleagues Fuck The Shit Out Of Billionaire
* Colleagues Make Good On Threat To Fuck Billionaire 'Til He Loves Them