Which Troubled Financial Services Company Made Sallie Krawcheck Vomit?

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Obviously the gut goes with Citi or Bank of America, but no! So this is going to be a tough one. According to the Kraw, who spoke Wednesday night at the Manhattan's Museum of American Finance, before she took her current gig at as head of wealth management at BAC, she was considering a position at another firm (which she wouldn't name but described as "troubled"). She was thisclose to signing with them and, truth be told, would've never before considered answering to Charlotte. But a series of hints from the universe that included a fractured jaw gave SK a moment's pause and ultimately drove her into the arms of this guy [motions to Ken Lewis passed out over a toilet seat].
The first was that she overslept the morning of the initial interview, and almost missed her flight. And she'd never overslept in her life! She didn't have enough time to shower, or even take her PJs off (WTF?) before putting her pantsuit but whatever. SKraw does remember thinking to herself, "this doesn't feel very good," but NBD. Water off a duck's back. The meeting went well, and she scored a follow-up, this time in New York. The next time, things started out more auspiciously.

This was a beautiful spring day. Wearing a new suit and new shoes, she recalled, "I couldn't have been feeling more pleased with myself."

So she's walking, she's walking, she's checking out her reflection of the old Bear building, thinking to herself, "Huh, I wonder Jimmy Cayne is up to these days? How weird was it that time he tried to pinch my ass? And what a fine ass it is, amiright? Get a load of that thi--" and BOOM! Girlfriend's heel gets caught in the crack of a sidewalk and she is down for the count. And I'm not talking a little scrape of the knees fall, I'm talking Sallie Krawcheck, missing a tooth.

"I went flying down onto a grate," she said. "I stood up, spit out a tooth. Blood was everywhere."

Still, despite blood gushing out of her mouth, and the thing about missing teeth, she was determined to make the meeting because unlike you people, Sallie Krawcheck isn't afraid of a few awkward looks exchanged among potential employers on account of the fact that their interviewee has a giant gap in her mouth. Unfortunately, it was not to be.

"I did not make the meeting. Nor did I eat solid food for the next six weeks. I ended up with six stitches, one broken tooth, a hairline jaw fracture, a dislocated jaw and whiplash."

Eventually, though, she sat down for round two, likely wearing one of those foam neck pads. And management liked what they saw, and made SK an offer.

And then, when she went to sign the employment agreement, "I promptly threw up.

And it was at that moment, right after getting violently ill and just before looking up sheepishly at the guy whose shoes she's just puked on, that Sallie though, hmm, "I don't think this is right for me. [I'd better go with the boss who doesn't judge you for getting sick on the job, as long as you have a good reason, namely lunchtime Power Hours]."

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Are You A Financial Services Company Stuffed To Gills With Toxic Assets And/Or On The Verge Of Bankruptcy? Don't Hold Your Breath For Brian Moynihan's Call

Time was, Bank of America loved buying companies. Bonus points if there was a not-so-subtle suggestion by the target's CEO that BofA would one day be very sorry for doing so, or that they would've been better off picking up an asbestos manufacturer, or that they were looking at roughly $40 billion (and counting) in legal fees associated with fuck-ups that were to become Bank of America's problem, or that they would have night terrors for the rest of their lives about signing those papers. As it's been a while since BofA went shopping, some in the financial services industry have been wondering if we can expect any announcements re: big deals anytime soon or if Ken Lewis's unsolicited suggestions (Groupon, Sino Forest, The Thirsty Beaver, and most recently: "a P&C insurer with outsized exposure to the Northeast") are or have ever been under consideration? Sadly for fans of the Lewis Era/style of doing business, not so much. Mr. Moynihan said in response to an audience question [at the bank's two-day investor presentation conference for financial companies at the Plaza hotel] that the bank has "no acquisition plan at all." BofA's Moynihan Says Fiscal Cliff Impact Already Happening [WSJ]