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A Follow Up Message From Steve Cohen's Magic Kingdom

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Yesterday, together as a joint effort, we and SAC cleared the most majestic hedge fund in all the land of any possible wrongdoing vis-à-vis the insider trading case du jour. First, the firm conducted its own thorough investigation of the trades in question (and found no evidence of shady dealings). Then, we came along and finished things off with a brief but clear message: nobody fucks with the king. Nothing else needed to be said but unfortunately, some people felt the need to pipe up and remind everyone that "the determination by the big hedge fund is preliminary because a number of the stocks involved in the insider-trading case remain secret as criminal and civil investigations continue." Obviously these people, and maybe yourselves, still don't get it. So, today, we have no choice but to continue. For those of you-- and I'm talking about the SEC, I'm talking about the Feds, I'm talking about anyone looking to make trouble-- even ENTERTAINING the thought of messing with our lord, go back from whence you came. The king is busy.

Tomorrow-- and I pray it doesn't come to this but you people never seem to learn-- a demo on what's in store for anyone looking to mess, from the king of clubs. (Hint: it involves an object not typically used in place of a standard golf tee.)
[For those of you ignoramuses who have no idea what the above is about, familiarize yourselves here. These were conceived, posed for, and distributed in a limited amount by SC and Co. several years ago, perhaps knowing they'd come in handy some day.]
Earlier: A Reminder From Steve Cohen (King of Hearts)


Steve Cohen Bought Himself A Little Pick-Me-Up

As you may have heard, the last number of months have been a bit tough on hedge fund manager Steve Cohen. In November, one of his former employees, Mathew Martoma, was accused of orchestrating "the most lucrative insider trading scheme ever," in a criminal complaint in which Cohen was referenced as Portfolio Manager A. A week later, the Times lopped 21,000 square feet off his house. Earlier this month, he had the pleasure of setting the record for the largest insider trading fine ever, at $614 million, a sum that does not even put this whole thing behind him, as the settlement "doesn't preclude the Securities and Exchange Commission from pursuing Cohen himself in the future." So you'll excuse the Big Guy if he felt the need to indulge in a little retail therapy recently.