As Steve Cohen prepares to be deposed in some stupid insider-trading lawsuit filed by some goddamned Canadians, we have a piece of advice for the Securities and Exchange Commission: Leave it alone.
We know you think that something is rotten in the City of Stamford. We know you know that Raj Rajaratnam is way too dumb to have masterminded an insider-trading circle. And we know all of the arrows are pointing right at the Big Guy (it's not his fault; he's just big-boned).
But this is a step too far, SEC. For one, taking the word of some Canadians over that of a red-blooded American like Steven A. Cohen is unpatriotic. It's unconscionable. It's letting the terrorists win.
Anyway, SEC, you just don't understand. I mean, if you were too stupid to figure out that ass-clown Madoff, how can you be expected to comprehend the mind of a king among men like Steve Cohen? You can't. You can only genuflect toward his majesty.
It is the job of all of us on this earth to work to please the Sun King of Stamford. And that's all people were trying to do. The late analyst whose work mysteriously appeared at SAC headquarters? All of these SAC underlings who have been impugned by your investigations? Even Jim Chanos? Just trying to do right by the great man.
To paraphrase another great man incapable of wrongdoing, "When Steve Cohen does it, that means it is not illegal." Not even killing that poor analyst to shut his mouth.
Fairfax lawsuit keeps heat on Chanos, SAC's Cohen [Reuters]