Do Wall Street Executives "Defecate In Their Pants" When Andrew Ross Sorkin Calls Them

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In the New York magazine profile earlier this month, Andrew Ross Sorkin said that one of the ways he's able to land big sources is by not being "adversarial or coming to the table with an ax to grind." The piece also claimed that many of ARS's colleagues at the Times think it has to do with the fact that he's too buddy-buddy with his high-profile pals, and goes way too easy on them in print. Not true, says Joe Scarborough. Not only is it a lie that Sorkin's reporting process entails calling up CEO's and asking for their side of the story, scheduling a meeting and suggesting he wait outside while a PR person asks some pre-approved questions, the answers of which are transcribed into a column, but these guys are horrified of ARS. So much so, Scarborough said in a radio show with Sorkin this morning, that just being told Times-boy is on the line causes them to "lose control of their bowels."

Scarborough also claims that besides literally scaring the shit out of these guys, Sorkin is "so frightening" that they had to come to his book party and "bow down" to him. We didn't see any head bobbing at the Too Big To Fail soiree but perhaps it went on in a backroom. Anywho, let's do an informal poll: do Jamie Dimon, John Mack, Ken Griffin, Billy Ackman et al soil themselves at the sound of the letters "A-R-S?" And what are we to infer from the fact that Blankfein was a no show to Sorkin's big night?


Scarborough: You offended a lot of people with your book, didn't you?
ARS: Some.
Scarborough: Like a lot of Wall Street types.
ARS: Some were unhappy campers.
Scarborough:They're scared of you; so they have to come and bow to you at book parties, don't they?
ARS:I don't know if they have to bow.
Scarborough: They're scared of you aren't they?
ARS: There might be a couple...hopefully not too many...I'm not too scary a guy.
Scarborough: When 60 Minutes used to call people it was the scariest call. Now it's "Sir, Andrew Ross Sorkin on line three" and they defecate in their pants. They lose control of their bowels.
ARS: Can you say that on the radio?
Scarborough: I just did. And guess what? A lot of Wall Street people listen to us.
ARS: I don't think I'm that scary.
Scarborough: You're frightening.
ARS: On certain occasions.

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Come Between Andrew Ross Sorkin And His Pita Chips, Take Your Life Into Your Own Hands

It's often been said, in profiles, conversations, and the like, that Andrew Ross Sorkin is the hardest working man in America, juggling several  jobs at any given time. Up until now, the ones we knew about were 1) Dealbook editor 2) Squawk Box host and 3) author. Today we've learned of yet another title he holds: (self-described) Human Garbage Disposal. "If food is in front of me, I have to eat it," Sorkin told Grub Street, while taking part in its "New York Diet" series, an accounting of one person's food intake over a given week. From March 2 to March 7 we get to see ARS's appetite in action, destroying everything in its wake. Yogurt (Fage peach), his children's chicken nuggets, Chinese food, coffee ice-cream, tomato soup, mushroom soup, peanut butter brownies, turkey sandwiches, margaritas, Red Bull, oysters, Muscle Milk, pretzels, steak, salmon, Chirpin' Chicken, sweet-potato fries. It's actually quite mesmerizing. And that's just what he consumes for sustenance. Here's what he goes weak in the knees for. Anything that came out of a deep-fryer: "...we ended up at Five Points where I had two spicy margaritas and ruined [my] workout within in twenty minutes. I also had a spinach salad, rockfish, and a chocolate brioche bread pudding and apple crisp to die for. Give me anything baked or fried and ... forget it. Donuts, Glazed: "All is well in the world, until someone brings Dunkin' Donuts to theTimes office. No will power around glazed doughnuts. I could eat a whole table of them. They're classic and timeless, without being too sugary and complicated." Bread pudding, which he'll eat off the plate of a source: "In between MSNBC and the Times, I went to lunch with two venture capitalists at Michael's. Their choice, not mine. I like it there because that's how people know you haven't died yet. Ate salmon with mustard and sorbet for dessert. Okay, the venture capitalists offered me some bread pudding, and I got all in on that, too." His Stacey's Pita Chips. Do not get him started.: "Now I really go off the rails at home. It starts with a glass of red wine and half a bag of Stacey Chips. Then I eat more, but with hummus. They're the greatest chips in the history of all chips. When I was writing my book three years ago, I'd go to a bodega at eleven o'clock at night for a liter of Diet Coke, a couple beers, and my Stacey Chips." Andrew Ross Sorkin Will Eat Anything You Feed Him, Especially If It Is Baked or Fried [Grub Street]