Skip to main content

Hedge Funds Deserving Of 80 Billion Thank Yous Tomorrow

  • Author:
  • Updated:

Let's hear it, bank CEOs, each and every one of you: "On this Thanksgiving Day, we are grateful to... the hedge funds."
You know all that money you've raised to help pay the government back and to cover all of those catastrophic losses? Well, it seems that a big, fat chunk of it came from hedge funds. About 40% of it, according to Morgan Stanley.

Now, we know this is going to make the gravy come out through the nose for some of you. More than a handful of you--some still employed, even--cursed the hedge funds up and down for shorting your shares and driving down your stock price. But $80 billion is nothing to sneeze at, and you're going to need many more hedge fund billions to dig out from this mess.
And so, Vikram, Ken, John, Lloyd, all of you (except perhaps for Jamie Dimon), a toast to the hedge funds.
Hedge Funds May Account for 40% of Bank Capital, Report Says [Bloomberg]



Deutsche Bank Is A Hedge Fund

Scheiße Capital Management is having a rough day.


Ex-Lehman President Commemorates Tenth Anniversary Of Collapse By Shuttering His Hedge Fund

Bart McDade has got some serious experience with failing financial services businesses.

(Getty Images)

Hedge Funds Take Stand Against ‘Fearless Girl’ Enablers

State Street's marketing ploy isn't working on its customers.