Jamie Dimon Awarded Dubious Honor

American Banker has named Jamie Dimon the Banker of the Year, for obvious reasons. They include: running a bank that didn't have its ass handed to it, being Obama's favorite, allowing employees to celebrate the birth of Christ/awkwardly grope each other, general hotness, and not being the guy running the firm where they fertilize eggs in the basement for the sole purpose of destroying the embryos* (ixnay on the aldybay). Normally, we would be happy about any honor bestowed on the boy-toy CEO this one we cannot get behind, given that last year's recipient was Ken Lewis, who put a curse on the thing. So thank you, AB, but no thanks. We're good here. You can have this one back.
*One of the lesser known secrets to their success.