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Jamie Dimon Hasn't Jammed In Over A Year

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So last week I happened to run into Jamie Dimon and yadda yadda yadda I just wanted to tell you guys that one of the seriously upsetting consequences of the financial crisis has been the toll taken on JD's music career.

Not sure if you're aware, but Dimon used to play the guitar, all the time. Took lessons in fact. Springsteen's his go-to jam. But as a result of the shit hitting the fan, J to the D hasn't played in like a year (he even showed me his callous-less hands to prove it). That's not okay with me, and for those hoping to watch JD jam to "Badlands" or "Atlantic City" on the floor of the NYSE, it shouldn't be okay with you. We've got fix this thing, ASAP, and free up his time for more important pursuits.