Opening Bell: 12.30.09

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Fund Chief Snared By Taps, Turncoats (WSJ)
Tears for only hedge fund manager with the sense of humor to tase his employees and hire midgets as jokes: "That morning, the trading day began early like any other at Galleon's Madison Avenue offices. Then, an investor who lived in Mr. Rajaratnam's building called to say he had seen the FBI arrest Mr. Rajaratnam. Galleon employees began texting each other with the news. One trader burst into sobs."
E-mails inside AIG reveal executives struggling with growing crisis (Washington Post)
In late July, Goldman Sachs, one of the firm's largest trading partners, challenged Financial Products' numbers, asserting that Goldman's calculations showed a significant drop in the swaps' value. That drop, Goldman contended, triggered provisions in the swaps contracts requiring AIG to post hundreds of millions of dollars in collateral to protect Goldman against the apparent escalation in risk. "They are not budging and are acting irrational," Tom Athan, a Financial Products executive, wrote on Aug. 2 to Forster after a tense conference call with Goldman employees. "I feel we need Joe [Cassano] to understand the situation 100% and let him decide how he wants to proceed." Athan added, "This isn't what I signed up [for]. Where are the big trades, high fives and celebratory closing dinners you promised?"
Rich Cling to Life to Beat Tax Man (WSJ)
Just hold out 'til Friday, li'l fellas! Then you're free to bite the big one.
Tiger Hunt Sparks Tall Tales (NYP)
Unbelievably, the Tiger Woods and his 97 affairs storyline has resulted in some lies. Thankfully, the Post is here to set the record straight, namely about TDubs and Rachel Uchitel shacking up together. It's not happening. We can all breathe easy now.
Thundercats Movie Canceled (Vulture)
Will no heroic hedge fund manager step up and finance this thing?
Set of identical twins busted in long-term $2M investment scam (NYDN)
Makara and Tsele Nkhereanye, 38, who live with their mother, maintain their innocence.

In the Loftiest of Buildings, High Art Still Finds a Home In The Lobby
(NYT)
Sure, no mention of the brass Mallomars recently installed in Stamford. Assholes.
GMAC Set for Another Cash Infusion (WSJ)
What's $3.5 billion among friends?
Cleave Watch: Amanda Drury (DB)
I woke up to emails from several of you claiming sightings of "very aggressive amounts of cleave, even for AD's standards." Naturally, I took the time to investigate. This is what she's wearing today:



...which would make all of you either a) liars (capital "L", small "i", small "a", small "r", period. Now shut...the fuck.. up!) or b) people who despite claiming to be huge fans, don't know the Druriesatall, or what they're capable of. Shape up. (She does say "titters" in this clip so maybe that was a wink-wink in our direction, in spite of your ignorance and predilection for wasting my time.)
Programming Note: We're on an abbreviated vacation-esque schedule 'til Monday (opening/closing wraps and possible though unlikely updates should the urge to reach out and touch you move us). We still want to hear from you, though, so if anyone notable gets nailed for insider trading or his sex tape surfaces, do not hesitate to let us know.

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